Tuesday 21 November 2017


Its been one month since our break up and I must commend my heart for adjusting quite rapidly to the realities of life without Rudolf. On countless occasions, I had patiently waited for the hovering bird called 'heart break' to finally perch on my roof but God helped its miserable soul. It must have known that I was armed to the teeth with my spear of dignity and a shield made of stiff ego.

Not only that, the 'gang' advised that I drew up a roster with each day stuffed with "ecstasy that excites and glee that tickles", just in case thoughts about him try to stray beyond their boundaries.

So on Mondays, I learnt to walk with a majestic sense of feminine gracefulness and straighten my crown once again. On Tuesdays, I spoilt myself with surprise treats in exotic sites around town. I slid a bar of chocolate into my own bag (in my absence) on Wednesdays and spelt his name backwards on Thursdays. Fridays were most remarkable as I would curse the days I ever shed a single tear for that brute!

Yes! Rudolf was worse than a brute. His style of break up made my stomach purge. I mean, who would ever end a relationship two days into Valentine? -Rudolf!

For days, the break up left me wide awake in the wee hours of the night, standing by my mirror, checking if my own head had suddenly begun to develope horns. It caused me to take my breath in my own hands and perceive just to be sure it was nothing odoriferous that stood between us. I began to query the dictionary for hiding the correct meaning of the word "OVER", for Rudolf had succeeded in making me less of a complete woman and so forgetting him shouldn't be this difficult but nostalgia is such a cruel thing. It would lure you to forbidden corridors and make poisoned apples become pleasing to the eye once and again.

Quite frankly, Rudolf was every real woman's fantasy- every woman's necessary evil. If the way my name sounds on his lips were music, I would definitely put that track on replay. I can't help but smile over the uncultured way he let's out his boyish laughter when he gets really excited. Suddenly, all the love songs I hear say something about him; especially J'odie's "Sugar Coconut" and these days I fear for my armour. Some days back, I had unconsciously given out his digits to a client in place of my own and I realized I was gradually getting trapped.

Last night was a Tuesday night. I tried out Sheraton's Chinese for the first time. I got home exhausted, turned on my data for Whatsapp messages and it was him!

"Sending a blanket of luv and pillows of affection to you darl. U looked gorgeous at d restaurant 2day. Can we hang out 2morrow?"




  1. This is lovely. I love the comic life in it. Okiemute!

  2. Interesting introduction, I hope the story doesn't end here cause it'll be a spoiler. Sounds like first love drama